Overheard at the gym: “I don’t think my standards are too high. I just want to meet a nice guy who has a JOB and a DRIVER’S LICENSE and isn’t THREATENED that I have a career?!”

I stopped in mid-lunge. OMG, has nothing much changed on the Grand Strand dating scene in some 20 years?
I well remember, in the early ’90s, a single co-worker of mine cooing on the phone as she accepted a date with a hot Aussie we had met having after-work cocktails. The coos turned into stammers. She slammed down the phone and cradled her head in her hands, “He asked me to pick him up! You know what that means!”

“Maybe his car is in the shop,” I said cautiously, my friend wide-eyed in crisis.

“He didn’t even mention a car,” she wailed. “I just know it. … He doesn’t have a license or a car. Why does this keep happening? He’s another at-risk guy!”

As it turned out, she was right. Not even his sexy accent and Down Under charm could trump that fact that he was auto-less, had a rap sheet and kept a post office box to avoid being traced to a physical address.

Now, I’m not suggesting that the lack of a valid driver’s license has a direct correlation with criminal activity. In fact, not having a car in a metropolitan area is quite smart when you have efficient public transit. But, come on. Some form of transportation is a must-have to live at the beach and a bicycle doesn’t count unless you have a temporary visa.

The dating dynamic is simply different here. You have to step back from the coupling rituals you knew back home, because they probably won’t apply.

Maybe I can help a little. After pub-crawl-polling a cross-section of single 20-and-30-somethings, here’s some advice:

1. Say No to the No-Date Date
Ladies, when a guy asks you to “come hang out with him at Malibu’s” or any nightclub without a designated time and meeting spot, it’s a keeping-all-his-options-open invite. He’s free to club-hop, troll and with the help of a good wingman, avoid bumping into you all night. He can tell you later that his buddies wouldn’t leave such-and-such a place no matter how hard he pleaded with them. And if he does find his way to you in the wee hours of the morning, exhausting all other foregone alternatives, he’s secretly hoping to take you home with a buzz-on that didn’t cost him any time or money.

2. Dating is a Seasonal Sport Here
In most other parts of the country, a guy disappearing for long weekends or even for a week’s time is a dating no-no. But if your man is indigenous to this area, deer hunting at remote camps and chasing down raccoons all night long are serious seasonal endeavors. Speaking of the hunting instinct, you may want to retire the chase altogether for the summer and just work on your tan. There’s just too much game out there, too many scents to trail, with wide-open vacationers, college students on the loose and all those who flock to town to snap up seasonal jobs and squeeze in a lifetime of partying. After Labor Day, there are far fewer distractions.

3. This Is A Bar Town
I had a chat with two good-looking single guys grappling with, “back home, you went out to a bar with friends once a week; we went to each other’s houses the rest of the time. But here, everyone meets out at a bar, and I mean almost every night.” Yes siree, that’s single life at the beach. That’s not to say you won’t be invited to the occasional barbecue, but more often than not the single set here prefers not to entertain at home. Chances are you won’t be set up with a friend-of-a-friend at a dinner party. What’s more likely to happen is a note passed to you during happy hour: “Call me tomorrow.” It’s an immediate rush, the promise of new love, unless the phone number is wrong or she doesn’t remember who you are the next day.

Maybe the lessons here are not to take dating disappointments to heart. When it comes to staying fit and young and able to party, the Grand Strand can rival the likes of Los Angeles. Make a pact to enjoy it and amass as many friends as you can along the way.

After all, the secret to a successful, long-term relationship is a solid friendship—even if he didn’t have a driver’s license when you first met.